What to do when a family cancels on you at the last minute

A message at 12:40: “Don’t worry about today, Gran’s got them.” No pay, and an afternoon you could have filled. Once is life. Every second week is a problem. Here’s how to handle both.

Why it matters

If you’re paid by the hour, a cancelled afternoon is money gone. If you’re paid a fixed monthly amount, a cancelled afternoon should cost you nothing, and that’s one reason a fixed monthly arrangement is better for au pairs. Either way, an afternoon you’ve kept free has a value, and a family who cancels casually doesn’t always see it.

What the agreement should say

The best time to sort this out is before it happens. A good agreement covers:

• Notice for cancellations. 24 hours is a fair standard. Less than that, and the afternoon is paid.
• A fixed monthly amount for the agreed grid, so cancellations are the family’s cost, not yours.
• Extra hours at an hourly rate, so the arrangement is fair in both directions.

If your agreement doesn’t have this, ask to add it. The contract guide has the wording.

The first time

Say nothing dramatic. Reply warmly, and at the next handover mention it lightly: “No problem about Tuesday. Just so we’re on the same page, if it’s less than a day’s notice I’d normally count it as a worked afternoon. Is that okay with you?” Most families say yes immediately. Many haven’t thought about it.

If it keeps happening

Have a proper conversation, not a message. Say what you’ve noticed with dates, say what it costs you, and propose the fix: a fixed monthly amount, or a cancellation rule. Put the outcome in writing afterwards, even just a message summarising what you agreed.

What isn’t acceptable

• Being told the afternoon is cancelled after you’ve arrived.
• Regularly losing a third or more of your hours without pay.
• Being asked to “make up” cancelled hours on weekends you didn’t agree to.

If a family does these after you’ve raised it once, they’re not a good family to work for. Give proper notice, be gracious, and find another. There are more families looking than there are reliable au pairs, especially ones who drive.

Your side of the bargain

Reliability cuts both ways. If you need to cancel, give as much notice as you can, offer a swap, and never leave a family without cover on the day. The families who respect your time are the ones whose time you’ve respected.

Keep your profile current

If your hours have shrunk, update your availability on your profile so other families can find you for the afternoons you have free.