Live-in au pair on an estate: what to ask before you move in

Live-in roles on estates in Fourways, Midrand, Ballito, the Helderberg or Hillcrest are some of the best au pair jobs in the country: a room, meals, no rent, no commute, often a car. They’re also where the line between working and living blurs fastest. Ask these before you say yes.

The room

• Is it a cottage, a flatlet, or a room in the house? Does it have its own bathroom?
• Does the door lock, and do you have the only key?
• Is Wi-Fi included? Laundry? Where do you cook if you want to?
• Can you see it before you decide? Always ask to.

Getting in and out

Estates run on access control. Ask how you come and go, whether you’re registered with security as a resident, and how visitors are handled. An au pair who has to phone the family to get back through the gate at 21:00 is not free to leave the property.

Hours, not presence

The most important sentence in a live-in agreement: being in the house does not mean being on duty. Agree ordinary hours in writing, how extra hours are requested, and that evenings and weekends outside those hours are yours. If the family expects “just keep an ear out” every evening, that’s work, and it should be paid or declined.

Days off

At least a day and a half a week, written down and consistent. Ask what happens when the family travels: are you expected to house-sit, is that paid, and can you go away too?

The car

If a car comes with the role, ask whether it’s for work only or for personal use, who insures it, what happens after a bump, and whether you’re a named driver. Personal use of a car is a real benefit; make sure it’s written, not assumed.

Guests and rules

Can friends visit? Can they stay? Is there a curfew? Families are entitled to house rules; you’re entitled to know them before you move in.

“Part of the family”

It’s a lovely phrase and it can mean anything. The good version: you’re welcome at meals, included in weekend plans if you want to be, and treated with respect. The bad version: you’re expected at every meal, every outing, and every evening, with no boundary between the job and your life. Ask what it means to them.

Money

Live-in au pairs earn roughly 10 to 20 percent less in cash than live-out on similar hours; see the pocket money guide. Check what’s included and what isn’t, and that the cash part is paid on a fixed day. Ask the family to register you for UIF; it’s required and it protects you.

If it goes wrong

Say so once, clearly. If nothing changes, give notice in writing and arrange somewhere to go before you leave. Never stay in a home where you feel unsafe; the safety guide explains what to do.

A good sign

A family who answers all of this without hesitation, shows you the room, and offers the agreement before you ask is a family who has thought about you as a person. Those are the placements that last.