The confirmed-reference badge: what it proves, and what you should still ask

Some au pair profiles on Au Pair Nation show a green line under the name: “Reference confirmed by a previous employer”. It is the single most useful signal on a profile, so it is worth knowing precisely what it means.

How a reference gets confirmed

1. The au pair adds a reference to their profile: the family’s name, when they worked for them, the children’s ages and what the job involved. They also give us the family’s email address, which you never see.
2. They ask us to confirm it. We email the family one message with a link.
3. The family opens a page showing what the au pair wrote, and answers yes or no. They can add a comment: “Reliable, great with our toddler, the kids adored her.”
4. If they say yes, the reference shows as confirmed on the profile, with the comment and the family’s first name. If they say no, nothing is shown to families, and the au pair sees that it was declined.

We do not call the family, and we do not verify who owns the email address beyond the fact that they received the message. What the badge proves is this: somebody at that address, given the au pair’s description of the work, said it was true.

Why that is still worth a lot

On a listing site, a reference is a name and a phone number that you have to chase, during working hours, hoping the person picks up. Most families never do it. Here, the chasing is done before you look at the profile, and the comment tells you something in the family’s own words.

It also changes behaviour. An au pair who knows a previous family will be asked to confirm the dates writes the dates accurately.

What it cannot tell you

Two things. First, whether the au pair is right for your children. A toddler specialist confirmed by a family with a two-year-old may be a poor fit for a Grade 7 who needs homework discipline. Second, why the arrangement ended. A confirmed reference with a short period and no comment is worth a question.

So still call. One reference, ten minutes, and ask these:

• What did a normal afternoon look like?
• What would you have changed?
• Why did it end?
• Would you hire her again for the same role?
• Is there anything I should know that you wouldn’t put in writing?

Our guide to reference calls goes through each of these and what the answers usually mean.

Unconfirmed references

A reference that says “Not yet confirmed” is not a red flag. The au pair may have added it yesterday, or the family may be slow to reply. Treat it as a name and a story you can ask about in the chat. Three unconfirmed references and no response when you ask about them is a different matter.

For au pairs reading this

Ask every previous family to confirm. It is one email to them and one click. Confirmed references lift your match score with every family, and families tell us it is the first thing they look for.